More Than Enough
by Leven
Summary: Sometimes you have to step back and review your life. When Neela decides to do exactly that, she doesn't realize how she’s affecting the one person who needs her more than anything.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **More than enough  
**Author: **Leven  
**Rating: **FRT  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Ray, Neela or ER in general. They belong to NBC and all the other people who have something thing to do with this show. Song belongs to Michelle Branch.  
**Spoilers: **N/A  
**Summary: **Sometimes you have to step back and review your life. So Neela decides it's time for her to do so. But she doesn't know how she's affecting the one person who needs her more than anything.

**

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Chapter 1 **

_I don't know whose side I'm takin'  
But I'm not takin' things too well  
I can see inside you're achin'  
But is it still too early for me to tell?_

_-If Only She Knew, Michelle Branch_

_> > > > > > > > > > > > _

Neela wasn't expecting anyone home. Ray was usually out on a gig at this time on a Friday night. Which meant that she could, finally, take a nice relaxing shower.

The ER had been hell. Somehow she had ended up with every old, whining, cursing and violent patient that had come in. No actual emergency had come up, no shootings or stabbings.

Nothing.

Susan had called it 'a slump', Neela liked to call it boring. So, after a day of old ladies asking her if she 'was _really_ a doctor' and whether she 'was _sure_ that headache wasn't because of a tumour', Neela opened the door to the apartment she shared with Ray and…immediately turned back around.

"Ray?" She asked, trying hard to suppress the urge to attack him. "Can I turn around now?"

From behind her came an unsure: "Yeah."

Thoroughly annoyed Neela turned around and crossed her arms.

Ray was sitting on the couch, next to him a very blonde girl was trying to decide whether to stare adoringly at Ray or glare hatefully at Neela. She decided on Neela.

"Hi. I'm Neela." Neela deadpanned.

"Melissa." The blonde responded with malice. Ray anxiously shifted his gaze from Neela to Melissa and back. Neela shot him a look that clearly said: 'we need to talk.' He quickly stood up and gestured towards the door.

"Uh…Mel, maybe you should go and…let Neela yell at me." Melissa rolled her eyes, but didn't get up.

"You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend. I don't know why you'd choose _her_ though, she's not very pretty." Melissa frowned. "And she should see someone about those clothes."

Ray groaned. "She's not my –" Neela interrupted him.

"Excuse me? What did you just say? You sl-" Her lips had formed one thin line. "Get out of my apartment. Now."

Melissa shrugged. "Alright." She kissed Ray on his cheek. "Call me. Nice meeting you, _Neela_." She plastered an extremely fake smile on her face and walked out of the apartment.

As soon as the door closed Neela walked over to Ray and punched his chest.

"Thank you _very_ much for ruining an already bad day." Ray opened his mouth to argue but Neela wasn't having it. "One of the many things I don't want to be the first thing I see when I open a door is you _undressing_ some slutty girl on our couch! Can't you just…do things like that in your own room? We've talked about this before! If you want me to know you're having sex so badly, it's not like I can't hear it through the _walls_. Since I can hear everything else."

Ray was beginning to get pissed off. What was her problem? He was just kissing the girl, for God's sake. But before he could express _his_ feelings Neela had already started going towards her bedroom.

"Neela, come on." He tried to grab her arm but the moment his fingers touch her arm she yanked it away. "Neela, seriously! What going on with you?"

"What's going on?" Neela repeated in disbelief. "You're actually asking me that?" _Can't you see I'm jealous?_ "What kind of daft idiot are you? You couldn't tell from the things I yelled at you before? What's going on is that you have absolutely no regard for my feelings!" And with those words she slammed the door in his face.

"You're overreacting!" He yelled through the door. No answer. "Neela please just come out. We'll make a compromise! Neela!" After five minutes of inpatient banging on the door Ray decided to give up, hoping she'd be more willing to talk, instead of yell, in the morning.

> > >

Sadly for Ray, Neela was indeed calmer the next morning, but not in a good way. When Ray's alarm clock went off at exactly 5:30 AM he was surprised by the smell of fresh coffee. The smell of Neela's coffee to be specific, coffee with cinnamon. The thing that disturbed him was that this was Neela's day off; she was supposed to be sleeping in.

Wide awake and very alert, Ray hurried into the kitchen but he quickly spotted Neela sitting on the couch…with a large suitcase next to her on the ground.

"Good morning." She greeted, as if nothing was different.

"Morning. Where are you going?" He didn't like this…at all. Then he noticed that everything she owned had disappeared from the living room. "And where's all your stuff?"

A very guilty look appeared on Neela's face, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"I don't think I should live here anymore." She replied in a small voice. "All we do is fight, Ray. We fight about everything! Groceries and your dates and your band and who's calling the plumber and…I've had enough. Haven't you?"

"What?" Ray didn't care whether his mouth was hanging open, or whether he was looking like an idiot in loss of words. She was _leaving_? How could she do that to him?

"Please say something."

"When?"

"Today. I called Abby; I'll be staying there for a while." She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Again."

"Are you sure about this?" He asked anxiously. "Because I can change you know. I can…bring the dates straight to my room or give you a warning or something. And I'll find another place to practice! I just….don't leave." Neela refused to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry." An uncomfortable silence followed.

And in that very moment they were thinking exactly the same thing:

_I should have said something._

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_Review..._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews! grins like a maniac

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**Chapter 2**

_And I'm losing my favourite game  
you're losing your mind again  
I'm losing my baby  
losing my favourite game_

_-My Favourite Game, The Cardigans_

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After two days Ray was starting to lose hope. Neela had all but moved to another country and he'd seen her for a full two minutes in 48 hours, in which she had said a total of one sentence, an afterthought even, to him: "Oh Ray, have a nice day too." And he'd spent the rest of that day so immensely distracted that he'd been yelled at by both Lewis and Pratt, a patient had tried to punched him and even Morris told him that he should go home if he couldn't pay attention.

So there he was, at 6 AM on his day off, sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, contemplating how he could be such a complete idiot. He knew very well he should have argued with her sudden decision more. His friends told him over and over that he had to get their _dr. Neela_ back, she was hot and sweet and she kept the place clean.

"What did you do?" His friends asked him several times, and each time he was forced to answer with:

"Ask Melissa." This told everyone plenty, and was usually followed by a disappointed mumble of:

"What a waste." Or "Moron."

Every couple of minutes he glanced at the phone and considered calling her, but he didn't know whether she was home, working or sleeping. Looking around the living room that had become a complete mess in just two days he made a decision. He had to call her.

He dialled Abby's home number by memory, he'd been staring at it all morning, and as the consistent _'beep'_-ing of the dial tone rang in his ear he suddenly became scared and hastily disconnected.

He was a lost cause, and he knew it all too well.

>>>>>

Later that day Neela and Abby were in Abby's apartment, having dinner.

"Noodles?" Neela threw Abby a filthy look, "Is this the _only_ thing you have here? I swear you've been lost without me."

"I don't have the time for shopping." Abby shrugged. "I can't help it that you and Ray were so insistent to have your little flirt fest," She smirked. "Oh, excuse me, I meant 'grocery shopping', every week that you got used to have having food all the time. I happen to have a life."

"You're hilarious." Neela deadpanned, "But I thought we'd agreed not to mention the R-word?"

"Or you might," Abby hopped onto the kitchen table and swayed her arms dramatically, "go into a sensual frenzy at the memory of your steamy daydreams." Neela stared at her.

"_What_ have you been smoking?" She shook her head. "And please, I did not tell you about that just so you'd have something to tease me about, so **don't**."

"I'm sorry." Abby said, not very honestly. "But seriously, I don't get you. You move out so you don't have to run into his skanks every other night and resist the urge to beat them to a bloody pulp. That's still understandable. But you still haven't told him how you feel, which you told me you would, and avoid him - and everything that has anything to do with him- at all costs." Abby shook her head. "That's not healthy, Neela. Don't hide your feelings."

Neela gave Abby her nastiest look and snapped, nearly _hissed_: "Look who's talking. Going out with every remotely attractive bloke that crosses the street, instead of just calling Jake to tell him that she's sorry and she missed him. That's _very_ healthy. You're not better than me."

"Nice, Neela, very nice." Abby slid off the table; she was obviously a tad pissed off.

"It's true." Neela replied. "You're still hung up on Jake, so you take it out on me and Ray."

"Ever thought you might be projecting?"

"What?" Neela stuffed some noodles in her mouth in annoyance.

"You are projecting your frustration about Ray onto me, so now you're trying to convince me that I'm in love with Jake."

"Which you are." Neela gave Abby a pointed look, which Abby returned by rolling her eyes. After nearly two minutes of stubborn staring Abby broke the silence.

"Are we actually fighting about this?" Neela shook her head.

"We were having a slightly heated discussion. It's a roommates thing, Ray and I had them all the time." Abby smirked.

"Does that mean you're going to fall in love with me too now?"

"It depends," Neela answered, grinning, "did you join a band recently?"

Abby shook her head and muttered: "Damn.", before she turned to go to her room and told Neela that she was going to get ready for work. "And eat your dinner."

Lifelessly Neela prodded around in her cold food.

_I am a moron._ She thought. _Who moves in with a man she attracted to, only to realize she's fallen for him and panic so badly about this bloody epiphany that she moves out. Oh, that's right, _I_ do! _

"I should call him." She mumbled to herself. She reached for the phone and noticed it was covered in post-its. One by one she took them off and read them.

'_6:15, Neela, Ray called.' _The first read.

'_6:25, Ray called again, doesn't he know you have an early shift today?'_

'_6:40, HE called, he wants me to tell you he's sorry.'_

'_6:50, He's sorry Neela, dammit, call him. He keeps waking me up.'_ Neela smirked.

'_7:00, Ray wanted me to tell you, and I quote: "I know I'm a pain in the ass, but please come back. It's boring without you. The guys miss _dr. Neela_ too." Cute.'_

'_7:10, guess who called?'_

'_7:30, wow a full 20 minutes this time. He says he'll stop calling. CALL HIM, Neela, this is pathetic.' _

Neela was sufficiently shocked.

"Abby! You didn't tell me Ray called!" She yelled at Abby's door.

"Sorry! I forgot, it was too damn early, I just fell asleep. He called, like, 8 times this morning." Abby's muffled voice sounded through the door.

"Seven." Neela muttered under her breath. Abby burst out of bedroom, grabbed her coat, said good bye to Neela and went out the door within 30 seconds, but Neela didn't really pay attention to it.

When the door slammed shut Neela immediately grabbed the phone and dialled her former number and waited for Ray to pick up. But he never did. She left a short message on the answering machine:

"_It's okay, Ray. See you tomorrow."_

Little did she know that Ray had been sitting right next to the phone when she'd called, too shocked that she actually called him to pick up and that he'd listened to that tiny message about a hundred times, trying to find a clue about what to say tomorrow.

If she did know all this then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have eaten Abby's entire chocolate stash in thirty minutes.

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Press the pretty button! Press it! PRESS IT I SAY! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **More than enough (3 of 10)  
**Author: **diyani  
**Rating: **FRT  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Ray, Neela or ER in general. They belong to NBC and all the other people who have something thing to do with this show. Song belongs to Anna Nalick  
**Story Summary: **Sometimes you have to step back and review your life. So Neela decides it's time for her to do so. But she doesn't know how she's affecting the one person who needs her more than anything.  
**Chapter Summary: **Ray gets himself beat up, and Neela tries to protect her heart when Ray tries to get her to come back in another failed attempt.

**Chapter 3**

_Maybe I'm not up for  
__Being a victim of love  
__All my resistance will  
__Never be distance enough_

_-Wreck of the Day, Anna Nalick_

Neela had seen many things in her lifetime. From people swallowing spoons to children with 3rd degree burns to transvestites who had been attacked on street corners. But that didn't stop her from staring at the sight in front of her in horror.

"Ray!" She exclaimed, running up to him.

"Hey Neela." Ray made an attempt to smile but grimaced instead.

"What happened to you?" She nearly screamed.

Ray's face looked like someone had let a cat loose on it. It was cut and bruised and covered in blood. It took Neela all of her willpower not to try and kiss all of his pain away.

"I had a little…argument." He muttered, refusing to look her in the eye.

"With who?" She touched his face and he let out a soft hiss. "Sorry."

"It's okay. The guy is worse off, and maybe you should take a look at Bret's leg." He motioned behind him. Bret was standing behind him, his leg bleeding. Neela blushed, ashamed that she hadn't even noticed him. Bret gave a small wave and cocked his eyebrows knowingly.

"Alright. I'll just…uhm…" She stammered, "…get someone to help. Uh…Abby! Abby!"

Abby's irritated voice came from the family room: "What?" She yanked open the the door and looked at Neela with raised eyebrows. Her irritation turned to shock when she saw Ray.

"What did you do now?" She asked.

"Thanks for your concern." Ray muttered.

"Could you go help Bret, please?" Neela asked, seeing Ray scowling face. "I'll take care of Ray."

Abby raised her eyebrows in a suggestive manner, but didn't say anything. Instead she just nodded and guided Bret towards an examroom.

"Alright," Neela said, "I'll set you up and go check on my other patient quickly, okay?"

Ray nodded, "Slow night?"

"And you just had to ruin it for me." Neela started walking towards Exam 2 and gestured Ray to sit down. "I'll be right back."

------------------------

Neela made a point to hurry with her other patient, a woman who'd cut her arm on a hook. As soon as she was finished she started walked towards where she'd left Ray. Suddenly she bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm so-" She started to apologise. Then she saw who it was. Melissa.

"Hi…Nina?" Melissa didn't even try to smile.

"Neela, _actually_." Neela said through gritted teeth. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, _actually_." She flipped her hair dramatically. "I'm looking for Ray. I have to apologise for my ex. He gets a little jealous sometimes. Is Ray alright? Can I see him?"

"No."

"No? As in 'no, he's not alright'?"

"No. As in 'no, you can't see him'."

"Why not?" Melissa took a pose as if she was getting ready to slap someone.

"Because he said he doesn't want to see anyone. You can call him later." Neela was surprised by how easily the lie rolled off of her tongue. She brushed past the blonde and ran out of sight.

Upon entering Exam 2 Neela's anger only increased.

"Let's just do this, shall we?" She said briskly. She immediately turned to get the supplies.

"Uh, yeah." Ray mumbled, unsure of what had changed her behavior from concerned to uncaring.

After a short time of uncomfortable silence Neela finished.

"There. You can go." She said.

"What's wrong?" Ray asked.

"What happened?" Neela countered.

"I asked first." This only got him a look from Neela. He coughed. "Some guy thought I was hitting on his girl and, uhm, went a bit crazy."

"Oh." Neela said. "I told you that would get you in trouble some day."

"No, you didn't." Ray smirked.

Neela smiled. "I should have."

Ray laughed. "Yeah. Talking about things you should do…when are you moving back in?"

"Very subtle." Neela said, her smile faltering. _Why did he have to ruin the moment with that? Why? _"I'm not, Ray."

"Neela, please." Ray felt like getting on his knees and begging. "I miss you. The place is a complete mess. And I thought we were doing okay this week."

"One week of me not running into skanky girls every night, _because I don't live with you anymore_, does not remove all memories of them that I already have. It doesn't work that way, Ray. I can't just walk back into the apartment and make everything magically the same. There are too many unresolved issues between us. You and me…we don't work on the long term. We fight. And we don't listen to each other. It doesn't work that way." _You're not breaking my heart. I won't let you._

"People change, Neela." Ray tried to reason. _Please._

"No, they don't." She sighed. "Can we talk about this another time? Please?" She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Fine." He looked away. "But don't think I won't try to get you back home."

"I won't. Thanks, Ray. Now lets get out of here. We're hogging the room."

"Because there are so many people here." Ray said sarcastically, as he headed out the room.

Neela smirked and started walking towards the family room.

"Hey Neela." He called after her. "Are we friends again?" She turned around and gave him a weak smile.

"Were we ever?" She asked, "I mean really?"

Ray wasn't sure what to respond to this, so instead he flashed his best smile and shrugged. "Always liked to think we were somewhat…friendly."

_Damn him. Damn his charm. Damn my weakness. _Neela took a couple of steps forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Unsure of what to do Ray did the same, amazed by how good it felt to have her pressed against him. He nearly let out a disappointed moan when she pulled away from him.

"We're friends." She said, grinning. "Now go home and get some rest." He pouted.

"Will you bring me soup? Good friends bring their friends soup when they're sick…" Neela rolled her eyes.

"One: You're not sick, you got beat up. Two: Fine, but don't complain if you don't like what I bring."

"Moi? Complain? Never. I'll be waiting for my soup. Later." He stroked her cheek with his thumb and pressed his lips against her forehead and swiftly ran out of the ER.

Neela was left standing there, mouth wide open. Her heart was racing and the only thing she could think about was his lips…his soft lips…his soft lips on her skin…_Oh God... _

She heard a giggle next to her. Abby was trying desperately to not break out into laughter, but she was failing miserably.

"It's love…" She sing-songed.

Neela groaned. "Shut up."

"Awwwww!" Jerry said as he passed by, grinning widely.

Neela buried her head in her hands, wanting desperately for her shift to be over, so she could go to Abby's place – _home_, she corrected herself, _it's home now_ – and take a shower, a cold one…maybe two.

Sighing Neela lifted her head and went on her way to her next patient. This was going to be a long night.

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Reviews are very much appreciated. 


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